Dicky Mint

[BFT]

Dicky went down his local Chinese all you can eat buffet the other day.  He was onto his third or fourth plateful (he'd not been there long so was just getting started) when he suddenly noticed a pair of eyeballs looking up at him from under a big pile of Chow Mein.

Dicky was a bit shocked so shouted the waiter over who explained it was nothing to worry about as it was just the Peking duck

[Scrivenator]

Dicky went to the Doctors cos he was losing his breath.
Doctor says "thats because youre obese and have too many chins"
Dicky relied, "I know, it runs in the family"

Doctor: Nobody runs in your family, you fat fuck.

[BFT]

I went to the doctors and he told me I needed to burn some fat.



So I set Dicky Mint on fire

[Scrivenator]

Someone better call Red Adair - the fuckers still alight!

[BFT]

Scientific experts have warned he could still be burning for decades if not centuries due to the almost endless supply of fuel. There are concerns he could have a catastrophic impact on global warming in the coming years


I feel bad now

[Scrivenator]

There were concerns the world would become extinct once the sum expires in 65 million years. They were able to calculate Dicky would still be burning strong however, so we can all breathe a sigh of relief.