What a fucking shit year

[BFT]

Since march I've been worrying about Covid and me parents catching it.

In July me dad was diagnosed with skin cancer, but luckily it wasn't the most aggressive type and he soon batted that off just needing a small op.

He is the fittest mid-seventy yr old you could ever know, always active and fit as fuck, but two weeks ago he had a heart attack out of the blue.

Went to hospital and spent the next 10 days getting all kinds of tests.  Like a camera inserted into a vein in his leg and sent up to his heart to see the damage.  Shit like that. And every day or two they found something new out that made his condition worse than previously thought.  He was always positive as fuck though, telling me not to worry and he'll be ok.

Two days ago he had heart surgery.  Proper major stuff - taking the heart out and repairing the valve and there was a good chance he wouldnt make it.

6 hour job but it went according to plan and he then went into ITU (as planned) and was stable.  Still not out of the woods yet by a long way but obviously a fucking relief he got through the worst bit.

Today I got a text off him. "I'm not going to make it son. Tell your mam I love her and look after her for me"

Skipping over things a bit here cos this story is dragging on a bit - but after the worst few minutes of my life I find out nothing has happened and he is still stable and on the right course (which the nurses have been telling him)

Then I spoke to him on the phone and its like he's had some kind of breakdown. He's just 100% convinced he isn't going to make it and will die soon even though the nurses are telling him he's doing fine.  Begging me to tell my mam this is the end and he loves her more than anything (we've been protecting her - she has no idea how serious things have been)

He's the strongest man I know, head of the family and always knows how to sort everyonesw problems out. but I just cant get through to him. He was crying and almost hysterical  Breaking my heart hearing him like this (on top of how poorly he still is).  And being in such distress wont be doing his recovery any good I suspect



Well, thats where we're up to right now - just waiting to see what tomorrow brings.

Been told its common for a patient to feel negative, anxious etc after what he's been through but this seems like somthing else to me



My head is absoultely done in and I've had a few beers so probs not done a good job of writing that.  Also missed a few things out that would further explain why Im so upset and almost at the end of my tether

There are a few wise old sages on here so any informative/positive/encouraging comments would be welcomed

[Scrivenator]

Since march I've been worrying about Covid and me parents catching it.

In July me dad was diagnosed with skin cancer, but luckily it wasn't the most aggressive type and he soon batted that off just needing a small op.

He is the fittest mid-seventy yr old you could ever know, always active and fit as fuck, but two weeks ago he had a heart attack out of the blue.

Went to hospital and spent the next 10 days getting all kinds of tests.  Like a camera inserted into a vein in his leg and sent up to his heart to see the damage.  Shit like that. And every day or two they found something new out that made his condition worse than previously thought.  He was always positive as fuck though, telling me not to worry and he'll be ok.

Two days ago he had heart surgery.  Proper major stuff - taking the heart out and repairing the valve and there was a good chance he wouldnt make it.

6 hour job but it went according to plan and he then went into ITU (as planned) and was stable.  Still not out of the woods yet by a long way but obviously a fucking relief he got through the worst bit.

Today I got a text off him. "I'm not going to make it son. Tell your mam I love her and look after her for me"

Skipping over things a bit here cos this story is dragging on a bit - but after the worst few minutes of my life I find out nothing has happened and he is still stable and on the right course (which the nurses have been telling him)

Then I spoke to him on the phone and its like he's had some kind of breakdown. He's just 100% convinced he isn't going to make it and will die soon even though the nurses are telling him he's doing fine.  Begging me to tell my mam this is the end and he loves her more than anything (we've been protecting her - she has no idea how serious things have been)

He's the strongest man I know, head of the family and always knows how to sort everyonesw problems out. but I just cant get through to him. He was crying and almost hysterical  Breaking my heart hearing him like this (on top of how poorly he still is).  And being in such distress wont be doing his recovery any good I suspect



Well, thats where we're up to right now - just waiting to see what tomorrow brings.

Been told its common for a patient to feel negative, anxious etc after what he's been through but this seems like somthing else to me



My head is absoultely done in and I've had a few beers so probs not done a good job of writing that.  Also missed a few things out that would further explain why Im so upset and almost at the end of my tether

There are a few wise old sages on here so any informative/positive/encouraging comments would be welcomed

So sorry to hear of this BFT, you must be beside yourself with worry. Judging from the clinical assessment given to to you by the nursing staff I would be inclined to be encouraged from what they are saying and take consolation from that. What he has endured certainly sounds like a major event but nowadays heart surgery is a fairly routine procedure with cause for an optimistic outcome mostly I would have thought. It sounds like he's had a mountain of tests, necessary intervention and over the worst.

He'll have had one hell of a fright (as have you) and sounds scared. Not for himself, but for others, which is utterly selfless. Sometimes, when you solve peoples problems easily the solution just doesn't manifest itself so readily when you have to think and act for yourself, and then you overthink the problem which is maybe causing him a little frustration/anxiety, emotions he isn't too familiar with so his way of dealing with it is to work out what is best for anyone (your mam) if it came to the unthinkable.

I'm probably talking bollocks, but the bottom line is I would certainly take heed of what the Nurses are telling you as a starting point.

Here's wishing your Dad a full and speedy recovery. It sounds like he's taken good care of himself over the years so well primed to be back on his feet in no time.

PS - sorry I didn't post sooner, but I haven't been on for a week or so, and only saw this today. Chin up bud and keep us posted

[BFT]

Thanks for the reply Scriv mate I appreciate it

Almost everything you said has proven to be spot on.  He's back home now and while still in the early stages of recovery he's doing great.

tbh I was pretty pissed when I posted that and overblown the situation a bit. Saying there was a good chance he wouldn't survive the op was a tiny bit of an exaggeration.  

Him talking the way he did really got to me but I think it was just the meds cos he was back to normal the next day.

I'm not really much of a worrier usually and couldn't give a fuck about most of lifes problems but when it comes to anything happening to any of my immediate family I'm a reet fanny

[Scrivenator]

Thanks for the reply Scriv mate I appreciate it

Almost everything you said has proven to be spot on.  He's back home now and while still in the early stages of recovery he's doing great.

tbh I was pretty pissed when I posted that and overblown the situation a bit. Saying there was a good chance he wouldn't survive the op was a tiny bit of an exaggeration.  

Him talking the way he did really got to me but I think it was just the meds cos he was back to normal the next day.

I'm not really much of a worrier usually and couldn't give a fuck about most of lifes problems but when it comes to anything happening to any of my immediate family I'm a reet fanny

So pleased to hear of this mate. I've been checking in a few times to check this thread in particular. Also to mention it occurred to me, that with him on meds, then lying there in bed with nothing to occupy his thoughts his mind will have been concentrating on nowt else and gone into overdrive so weren't exactly lucid.

Pissed or not, your post made perfect sense. Onwards and upwards bud, hope all continues to progress nicely 

[BFT]

Cheers mate

Aye he was on morphine so I think that made him delirious or something

He's progressing ok.  Slower than he'd like but he's getting there

[Scrivenator]

Slow and steady. Wins the race mate!