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I’m a puff
#1
Wink 
Sorry lads for not being as active as I was in the puffs forum,as I hate to admit it but been suffering from depression and anxiety .
Over the last couple of years me childhood has caught up with me. Was severely beaten as a 6 year old
Now these thoughts have come flooding back due to various things ...not proud about it ...but speaking to people I hope will sort this shit out.
I do apologise as this can kill others.
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#2
I hope you get on a good programme and be able to manage the anxiety. One of the recommended therapies is meditation and there's a channel on YouTube that has a few guided meditations. It's called The Honest Guys. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4jWo5k...PnvF4jbaLg

Start out with the shorter guides, something like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzzb3jHhgeU for simple breathing. One of the physical things we do when anxious is forget to breath properly. We load up with oxygen in preparation for FFF (Fight, Flight or Freeze instinct) but we don't expel the carbon dioxide properly. This then runs around in the bloodstream and can cause stomach problems.

When a million and one things are all fighting for brain time it gets a bit overwhelmed in there. Simply disappearing off into the woods (with or without the dog) can help calm things a little. Some of the stuff going on inside your head doesn't really matter than much.

I've had a quick look about for some charts and whatnot. There are some on this page: https://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/archive/mjcg/pl...xiety.html but if you want more search for things like "anxiety worry cycle" to see how easily thoughts spiral out of control and also "worry decision tree" which helps you determine which worries can be dealt with and which ones you 'let it go'. Letting it go is difficult at first but again there are guided meditations to help with this.

Sometimes when you put the worries down onto paper it helps put it into perspective. Sometimes when we think about things we think about the different outcomes and choose the worst one - this is called catastrophising. This is the one that demands the most mental energy even if it is the least likely to occur.

There's also 'overthinking', 'second guessing' and a few other behaviours that generate unhelpful thoughts. There are guides to help sort these out.


Get on a programme as quickly as you can though. There are online self-help courses but if you need one-on-one keep trying to push this through.

Oh the most important thing is - give yourself a break. Appreciate what you have and what you can do. Try not to dwell on what you don't have and what you can't do. Allow yourself some self-pride.

Drop me a PM if you need any help accessing resources.
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#3
Very sort to hear of this TT.

I'm not too clever at understanding these things like depression, how people who suffer from it feel and all that. Not understanding it doesn't mean to say I can't and don't empathise with some one who is affected.

I imagine it has taken a great deal of courage to reveal all this. One thing I am sure of though is you don't have responsibility for this shit. That responsibility sits squarely on the shoulders on whoever has perpetrated this, and if you have any feelings of shame, embarrassment or guilt even, you are entirely innocent.

Have you ever received any counselling? It is unimaginable that a six year old kid should have to grow up into adulthood without any kind of proper support and live with the consequences of events that is beyond his control, unable to prevent and most likely completely bewildering.

It is testament to your strength of character that you have brought up 3 bairns in a loving environment and taught them values. Even though I don't know you personally, what has always been clearly obvious is that you are totally besotted with your kids and they you. You should take a great deal of pride from that.

Have you considered speaking to your GP about this? I imagine it would be a very difficult step to take, but it may and should put you on the path to recovery that you are entitled to and deserve.

I'm not a religious man TT, but God bless you mate, and I hope to fuck you get this sorted mate.







What do we want? Easter bonnets! When do we want em? Xmas!!
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#4
Depression is awful about 6 years ago I went into work sat at my desk and just broke down in tears. I had known there was something wrong for a long time but just muddled through. I went straight home saw the doctor who told me I had clinical depression. I took tablets for a long time probably too long thinking about it now.

I could not cope for about 4 months. I was convinced that everyone was looking at me and judging me. My wife worked for the local Mental Health team and was able to help me. My sleep pattern was very irratic and I just wanted to be left alone. I kept a diary which I still have and also went for counselling for a 6 week period. My work put me in touch with her and were quite supportive in general. I was scared of my own shadow and cried a lot. It was an extremely difficult time in my life. I think I had been masking the problem for years by binge drinking at weekends and putting a brave face on it for the rest of the time. Mine was to do with work and bereavement issues. I have a handle on it now but can still find myself spiralling at times. I have strategies to deal with it now but it’s still there at the back of my mind.

Never be afraid to talk about these things it doesn’t make people inadequate,the opposite in my opinion as it shows that you are trying to find answers and solutions to the illness.
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#5
Sorry to hear about this.  I bet all this virus crap isn't helping anarl

I'm not usually much of a worrier meself but it's got me stressed as fuck
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